The nomination of Judge Sam Alito, a Trenton native, to the Supreme Court of the United States was confirmed unanimously by the senate today, in a close 58 - 42 vote. Judge Alito, or "Sammy Bag-of-Opinions" as he's known in Trenton, replaces justice Sandra Day O'Connor, whose flaps of facial skin became so saggy and gross that David Souter refused to look at her, citing precedent (stevie wonder v. elephant man) Now the only swing votes she'll be casting will be at family picnics, and instead of determining the extent and limitations of states rights, she'll be throwing pats of butter at her air conditioner. Judge Alito, joining Antonin Scalia, becomes the 2nd active Supreme Court Justice who is from Trenton, Italian-American, Catholic and an avid Philadelphia Phillies fan. As it turns out, this blogger shares all of those characteristics as well. If you are from San Francisco, you may have heard from some pretentious hippy dude you met at some party that this guy Alito is like, totally going to take away your rights and force you to drink oil and shit. To you I say, shut the fuck up. Trenton rules. We control 22.2% of the supreme court. What do you control?
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Inching Closer to Trentonian Dominance
The nomination of Judge Sam Alito, a Trenton native, to the Supreme Court of the United States was confirmed unanimously by the senate today, in a close 58 - 42 vote. Judge Alito, or "Sammy Bag-of-Opinions" as he's known in Trenton, replaces justice Sandra Day O'Connor, whose flaps of facial skin became so saggy and gross that David Souter refused to look at her, citing precedent (stevie wonder v. elephant man) Now the only swing votes she'll be casting will be at family picnics, and instead of determining the extent and limitations of states rights, she'll be throwing pats of butter at her air conditioner. Judge Alito, joining Antonin Scalia, becomes the 2nd active Supreme Court Justice who is from Trenton, Italian-American, Catholic and an avid Philadelphia Phillies fan. As it turns out, this blogger shares all of those characteristics as well. If you are from San Francisco, you may have heard from some pretentious hippy dude you met at some party that this guy Alito is like, totally going to take away your rights and force you to drink oil and shit. To you I say, shut the fuck up. Trenton rules. We control 22.2% of the supreme court. What do you control?
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