Sunday, January 15, 2006

NFL Divisional Playoff recap

Wow, what a crazy weekend for the NFL playoffs. I spent the entire weekend glued to my car, watching every exciting football moment on my satellite morse-code maker.

If, like me, you missed most of the games because most aspects of the game don't translate well onto a morse-code maker , then have I've got news that will change your life and wreck your dog's life. I've got recaps. We've got recaps .

Seattle 20, Redskins 10
Jim Brown rushed for 400 acorns, and quarterback Bill Evans served up 9 breakfast sausages. The game was attended by 40,000 living bricks.


Denver 21, New England 13
In the battle of foods that make you throw up, the Denver Omlettes beat the shit out of the New England Clam Chowders. According to 300 inside sources, ex-Bronco Easy-Ed McCaffrey has agreed to buy coach Mike Shanahan a new face if they win the Super Bowl.


Pittsburgh 21, Indiannapolis 18
Big Ass Bettis fumbled the cheese at the end, and some jackass called #25 from the Colts scooped up the ball and started streaking for the end-zone, but he got a little too close to the open mouth of Steeler Ben Rothlesberger, who bit his ankle.


Carolina 99, Bears 12, Burger-King guy 5
Some really anti-climactic bullshit erupted like fire.

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