According to a report by pepper.com, dogs have now surpassed humans on their evolutionary journey. Scientists at the Great University use a 10-stage rubric to determine which animals are hot, and which are not. The rubric measures "things" like intelligence, ambition, creativity, farts per hour, and jumping ability. Dogs first made a splash on the newspaper scene in 1971, when they scored higher then humans on the Great Test, convincing scientists that dogs were indeed smarter then their human best friends. Since then, they've evolved so fast, passing humans in farts per hour, ambition, and creativity at the 1982 Dog Vs Human Melodrama Showdown (co-sponsored by Wheaties and Kibbles-n-Bits). The last piece of the puzzle was jumping ability. Humans maintaned their edge in this crucial category until yesterday, when this dog, a brutal pepper-schnapps, out-jumped some chinese lady. It's over. Dogs are now our masters, claims 'Baxter', a beautiful, smart golden retriever who now runs the state department.
Friday, January 27, 2006
Dogs are now the Equals of Humans
According to a report by pepper.com, dogs have now surpassed humans on their evolutionary journey. Scientists at the Great University use a 10-stage rubric to determine which animals are hot, and which are not. The rubric measures "things" like intelligence, ambition, creativity, farts per hour, and jumping ability. Dogs first made a splash on the newspaper scene in 1971, when they scored higher then humans on the Great Test, convincing scientists that dogs were indeed smarter then their human best friends. Since then, they've evolved so fast, passing humans in farts per hour, ambition, and creativity at the 1982 Dog Vs Human Melodrama Showdown (co-sponsored by Wheaties and Kibbles-n-Bits). The last piece of the puzzle was jumping ability. Humans maintaned their edge in this crucial category until yesterday, when this dog, a brutal pepper-schnapps, out-jumped some chinese lady. It's over. Dogs are now our masters, claims 'Baxter', a beautiful, smart golden retriever who now runs the state department.
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3 comments:
your insanity is fucking brilliant.
You guys are mighty nice. This reminds me of that scene from brokeback, except it's 2 random people complimenting my blog rather then 2 gay cowboys doing the nasty and feelin bad about it.
is this my pepper to which you are referring? If so, I have pepper's lawyer on the phone, and he demanding a 25% cut of the royalties from this blog.
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