The Forgotten Victim of The Cheney Bloodbath

Much has already been written about Cheney gunning down his friend, supermarket mogul Texas "Tex" Whittington. Much of the media fury has been focused on some key, still unanswered questions: Did Cheney have a hunting license? Was he drunk? Is it true that he poured the remainder of his Mickey's 40 Oz. malt beverage in Mr Whittington's fresh wounds, as widely reported in this blog post several words ago? Did Mrs Whittington , in a mixture of confusion and creativity, really throw a bridal shower upon hearing the news? How could Cheney have gotten off three rounds from that school books depository? Lost in all of the discussion, however hecka valid it may be, is the fate of Cheney's intended victim, Dan Quayle. It is well known and widely acknowledged that current and former vice-presidents often hold one another in contempt. Al Gore famously bit the face of Carter's VP, Walter Mondale, reportedly after Mondale called Gore's wife a whore-bag. And who among us doesn't remember where he or she was when Millard Fillmore's VP, Blanche Peters, used his sharpened finger nails to pick the nose of Benjamin Harrison's VP, Toby McGrateful? Indeed, such fiery displays of VP rivalry are as American as baseball and pad thai. But did Cheney take this tradition too far when he hunted for Dan Quayle? Lucky for all of us, he missed his target, and shot some lawyer instead. Quayle took it all in stride, and still attended his brother's graduation from space camp later that afternoon.